Knotty
Dimensions
- Thickness: 1-1/2"
- Width: 5-1/2"
- Height: 8'
Distinguishing Features: Dark, loose areas that vary in size from small to large.
Wanted For: Passing his knots off as "artistic." Shifty, unreliable, and hard to nail down.
Evasion Tactics: Will play very casual and mention he's going to "just pop out" for a coffee. Do not trust him.
Background: Knotty is the undisputed leader of the Cull Pile Gang, the crown prince of the Usual Defects. Teased and ignored by homeowners as a teenager for his wood-zits, he ran away and joined his first gang, the Lumber Louts. There, he learned the dark arts from the red tag master, Ol' Barky himself! As much as Knotty loathed his knots, he came to rely on them. His trademark move was to pretend he was nailed down, then fall out of square by popping the knot out. He left the Lumber Louts after planning the big Dr. Strongbond caper, and formed his own gang, The Usual Defects. Time and time again, LP SolidStart LSL protects the whole neighborhood from his get-built-quick schemes.
Split
Dimensions
- Thickness: 1-1/2"
- Width: 5-1/2"
- Height: 8'
Distinguishing Features: Breaks along the grain. Weak in strength and appearance. May talk to himself, or flip a coin to make decisions.
Wanted For: Rapid drying, dividing, cracking, and breaking. Split personality means he must be committed.
Aliases: Shimmy O'Blockingham and his alter ego, "Tossie Cullivan."
Notes: If an interrogation with "Splits" does not yield results, ask to speak with his alter-ego, Tossie. Tossie is weaker of the two sides, and will often crack under pressure.
Sappy
Dimensions
- Thickness: 1-1/2"
- Width: 5-1/2"
- Height: 8'
Distinguishing Features: Gummy and pitchy with a spongy quality. Wears odd gloves, burrito wrappers, or whatever happens to blow by.
Wanted For: Sticky disposition, and impersonation of usable wood.
Last Known Whereabouts: Tends to stick around wherever he's laid last.
Notes: Be extra careful when handling Sappy. He can be very clingy. During interrogation, he will try to excuse his crimes by saying he's just got a little too much "stick-to-it-iveness."
Green
Dimensions
- Thickness: 1-5/8"
- Width: 3-7/8"-ish
- Height: 8'
Wanted For: Immaturity, looking deceivingly "OK." Until six months after the homeowner moves in, then Green makes her move by popping a few nails.
Last Known Whereabouts: About a quarter inch from where she was originally nailed.
Notes: Green can be hard to see, but easy to hear. Just walk around on a finished floor. When you hear the squeak, you've found her.
Shorty
Dimensions
- Thickness: 1-1/2"
- Width: 5-1/2"
- Height: 7'
Distinguishing Features: Short, almost petite in size, with a Napoleon Complex to match.
Wanted For: Lacking in length. Passing himself off as "measuring up."
Approach with Caution: Can be very combative about diminutive size. Without a strong connection, Shorty has been known to become withdrawn and pull away from his cohorts.
Twisted
Dimensions
- Thickness: 1-1/2"
- Width: 3-1/2"-ish
- Height: 8'
Distinguishing Features: Twisting in opposite directions.
Wanted For: Laying every which way but flat and being extremely difficult to work with.
Aliases: Warpy McCuppenstein, Poppy Von Splitzencrack
Notes: Twisted often works with his nefarious family, especially his two cousins: Warped and Cupped. We can keep track of these cut-ups with an anonymous informant who's trying to go straight.